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I have always had a difficult time expressing my emotions in English. As a non-native speaker, my language abilities are limited, and I often find myself stumbling over words when trying to articulate how I feel. It's an exhausting struggle, one that leaves me feeling frustrated and misunderstood.
Growing up, I was always taught to keep my emotions hidden. My culture puts a great emphasis on stoicism, and emotions are seen as a sign of weakness. For years, I struggled to reconcile this belief with my own internal feelings. I often found myself bottling up my emotions or expressing them in ways that were unhealthy or destructive.
It wasn't until I came to the United States to study that I began to realize the importance of expressing my emotions. I met people from all over the world who were open and vulnerable about their feelings, and it was eye-opening to me. I started to understand that emotions weren't something to be ashamed of, but rather a natural part of being human.
Despite my newfound understanding, however, I still struggle to express my emotions in English. It's a frustrating experience, one that leaves me feeling inadequate and lesser-than. I find myself constantly searching for words to describe complex emotions, only to come up short. It often feels like I am speaking a different language altogether.
This struggle to express myself has had a significant impact on my relationships, both personally and professionally. In personal relationships, my inability to communicate my emotions can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings. In a professional setting, it can hinder my ability to connect with my colleagues and build meaningful relationships.
Despite all of this, I refuse to give up on myself. Learning a new language is difficult, but it's not impossible. I am constantly practicing and striving to improve my language skills, and I am slowly but surely making progress. I am also learning new ways to express my emotions, whether through art, music, or other mediums.
At the end of the day, I know that my struggle to express myself is a lifelong journey. I may never be a master of the English language, but I will not let that stop me from communicating my emotions. I am learning to embrace my vulnerabilities and express myself in whatever way feels most authentic. It's a process, but one that I am ready and willing to undertake.